In a recent survey, more than one in three Lakesiders responded “strongly agree,” “agree,” or “neutral” when asked if students at Lakeside are treated differently based on their gender. Yet, sexism at Lakeside gets little attention and is rarely explicitly addressed. Only one single-semester course on sexism is offered. There is no affinity group for women and others who experience gender-based discrimination. The media right now is flooded with conflicting views on women’s rights, from social media stars telling young men to take the “red pill” and to “wake up” to the ways males are disadvantaged by matriarchy, to stories of the U.S. women’s Olympic hockey team which refused an invitation by Donald Trump to the State of the Union to protest a sexist joke he made in reference to them. For the third of Lakesiders who feel that sexism is impacting them at school, this issue is bigger than a few small online communities or news events. However, even here, the survey painted a mixed picture of sexism. If it was really an issue, why would it be so invisible to the other two-thirds? At the same time, is one-third of students truly hallucinating discrimination where it isn’t happening? In reality, sexism does still exist, and it is impacting students at this school and others across the country. This article will focus on the way sexism has proliferated at Lakeside, particularly within the gender binary, not with the intention of dismissing the experience of those outside the gender binary but with the hope of shedding light on the unique experience of girls and women within our community. 

To better understand the root of this issue, Tatler spoke with Upper School English teacher Rachel Maiorano, whose background in gender studies gives her a unique perspective on the bigger picture. What she shared revealed that these issues are much more complex than a single instance, Lakeside, or even Seattle. “We’re all in a big system that seems like it’s just how things are and this is the way things work,” she said, “and what you realize is that those systems are deliberate.” Her passion for fighting against systemic oppression was obvious as she spoke. But just because these systems are bigger than one school, she said, does not mean that they don’t show up at Lakeside. 

A few weeks into the first semester, students gathered for an assembly. Dr. Bynum asked each advisory to select a representative to stand in front of the crowd. But what was meant to be a fun, spirit-boosting exercise took on a new meaning when nearly every selected representative was a boy. To Ms. Maiorano, this was unacceptable. “It was unfortunate because it was early in the year, and so it set up a very vivid visual that leadership at Lakeside looks like boys,” she said. And to her, it was no surprise when only a few weeks later, the freshman class elected four boys as their Student Government representatives. “These are not isolated things; they tend to be associated,” she said. The solution, she added, is not simply to blame any individual freshman representative or advisory, because “that was not any student’s fault. That was not anybody’s fault.” She added, “Things that feel personal and individual are often a symptom rather than the actual issue.”

This idea is especially poignant because later in the year, multiple students were expelled. These individuals were involved in discriminatory behavior, but systemic oppression cannot be eliminated by disciplining a few offending students. Ms. Maiorano warned that “people tend to want to blame individuals for systemic problems. So, that doesn’t mean individuals are not ever wrong. They’re often wrong, but they’re wrong because they’re part of a system that tells them it’s okay to behave in a way that they behave.”

Gender discrimination is a complicated issue. But in many ways, it starts not with outright sexism, but with what chemistry teacher Nickie Wallace describes as “gender differences.” In other words, common stereotypes of different genders and the complicity of real-world students with these expectations can translate over time to students being treated differently based on gender. For instance, she brought up the example of a stereotype which profiles boys as more disorganized than their female counterparts. Studies have shown that people often internalize stereotypes, acting in compliance, or even embracing, stereotypes applied to them. When students lean into gender-based stereotypes, teachers like Ms. Wallace may be forced to spend more time and energy supporting boys who didn’t do the homework or bring the necessary class materials. In essence, a theoretical difference in the expectations for how people of different genders act can lead to more tangible differences in the opportunities, or lack thereof, presented to them. This can apply in more obvious ways with issues around confidence. “If I have a mixed-gender lab partnering, who is the first one that puts their hands on the equipment?” asked Ms. Wallace. When boys are encouraged to be confident, while others are not, it can impact their time with using equipment, the number of questions they ask, and the risks they are willing to take, making them more likely to achieve better outcomes in and out of the classroom. To be clear, it is not that only boys can be confident or that others never have the same attitude. Nor is it inherently wrong for a girl to be introverted or hesitant to raise her hand. Instead, it is important to notice how societal pressures go beyond individuals to create patterns over graduating classes and even generations. Ms. Wallace explained that we all learn from the patterns and behaviors we see from those around us. “We’re all still modeling people that we see around us,” she said. “And so, I guess the bigger question is, ‘what are we modeling?’” For instance, she expanded, children learn how to apologize by seeing people of all genders and ethnicities say sorry, but other behaviors and roles are modelled only by selected groups. “When did I learn that women could be scientists? When did I learn that women could be politicians?” asked Ms. Wallace. 

During his second term in the U.S. presidency, Donald Trump has begun what the ACLU describes as “a full-scale onslaught on women’s rights.” This has happened in tandem with the rise of the manosphere, an online community of extremely patriarchal and anti-feminist influencers, which has led to the widespread normalization of sexism and growing support for extremist stereotyping and dehumanization, according to United Nations Women. The impacts of this institutional discrimination can be felt even in a private school like Lakeside, and, according to Ms. Maiorano, “if we see it here, it’s much worse elsewhere.” Ms. Wallace told Tatler that the rise of stereotyping can pose a threat to women who don’t comply with traditional gender roles. “I am a person who likes putting my hand up, likes getting my hands on the lab equipment first,” she said, “and to watch where women’s … agency is being taken away, day by day, in different realms, that can be really challenging.”

Sometimes, conversations about the impact of the current administration on women’s rights are sidelined because they are “too political.” But to Ms. Maiorano, this fight is bigger than a political ideology. “It is a moral responsibility to teach about human equality,” she responded when asked if it would be appropriate for Lakeside to take a stance on a potentially polarizing issue like this one. 

These issues may seem impossible for individuals to tackle, but multiple female-identifying teachers expressed to Tatler that discrimination also shows up in interpersonal interactions between students and staff, and can similarly be prevented on this day-to-day level. Ms. Wallace recalled, “I have … heard students say ‘my male teachers are so intelligent,’ or ‘they’re so interesting,’ and ‘my female teachers are just harsh’ when they might be teaching the same class, or the same subject, or the same grade level.” Ms. Maiorano built on this idea, saying, “Women can do the exact same thing as men, and it’ll be just fine if the man does it, and it will be highly problematic [if the woman does it].” Students can stand up with simple acts, such as considering how their biases are impacting their perspective before insulting a female teacher. By calling out microaggressions and working to build a community where others feel safe to do the same, real progress can be made. “Small things will make a change,” says Ms. Maiorano. 

At the same time, there is more that Lakeside and its administrators could do to address this issue. Ms. Maiorano says that significant institutional changes would need to be made in order to limit patriarchy at Lakeside, but she noted, “I don’t think there has been any deliberate movement to make those changes.” For Ms. Maiorano, a real movement would go beyond minor curriculum changes or assemblies: “We have to be better educated about the way systems of power and oppression work … I think it’s honestly our most important goal as a school.” In other words, Lakeside is an educational institution, so it has a responsibility to educate students about and prepare them for the systems that impact them every day. “We need to make this sort of education around the way all systems of power work, but gender systems especially — and especially now — more a part of our entire curriculum, so that more people do have awareness of the way things are set up,” she said. Until students get this kind of education, how can they be truly prepared “to contribute wisdom, compassion, and leadership to a global society,” as promised in Lakeside’s mission statement? 

Ms. Wallace shared that some changes have already been made in the science department to combat these issues. “We’ve removed some of the names of … dead white European men from the things that we study,” she said, “so that you’re learning actual chemistry rather than having to memorize Boyle’s law.” Changes like these help students learn to model their teachers and each other, rather than traditional, mostly male, STEM role models. Ms. Maiorano shared how, after the success of the Civil Rights Trip, Lakeside could invest in more programs of that nature, such as a trip following the journey of the Equal Rights Amendment (which would guarantee equal rights for people of all genders but, though it was proposed in 1923, still has not been ratified). 

The search for a new head of school has begun. It’s time for students to consider what we will ask of them. How do we create a school where everyone feels included, welcomed, and represented? How do we avoid becoming politically polarized while addressing the issues that impact our community? Lakeside is far from perfect, but it has one advantage: Students are the clients. What students demand, the school is strongly motivated to provide. Sexism is becoming worse every day in both this school and society as a whole. Now, the cards are in the hands of the Lakeside community. When students are being treated unfairly, what will we do? When the administration could do more to support our classmates, what will we demand?