As a recurring writer for the Monthly Debate, you all know that I will always have some controversial things to say. Was Allen-Gates being the superior study space on Lakeside’s campus too lame of a topic? Was Lakeside being a HAAS school rather than a STEM not hot enough for you? Were my red and green flags not your ideal relationship advice? Don’t worry! I’m back on Tatler to introduce some more HOT TAKES.
Bliss bathrooms are superior to Moore bathrooms.
Have you seen the third-floor bathrooms of Bliss? Girls, especially? (I can’t really testify for the guys’ side of this.) It is literally pristine. Always clean, mirror stretching from table to ceiling, stalls the perfect width, well-maintained toilets, and the tiles are always squeaky-clean.
The one singular Moore bathroom? Always dirty, scary finger prints marring the ancient mirror, a multipurpose stall serving as both a toilet holder and a fly habitat, and the grimy floor. I truly don’t understand why so many Lakeside students love the Moore bathroom. Hopefully the stallways at Vassar Center are held at a higher standard.
Assembly is kinda boring. Sometimes.
While I haven’t heard any side conversations, grumbles, sighs, and mutters of annoyance during assembly in a long-ish time, it can get a little boring. Sometimes. Just like how only sometimes do I see people fall asleep in their chairs or fix their hair and expose a small white earbud.
Lakeside has too many clubs.
Genuinely, I’ve never heard anyone talk about this before. Tatler’s opinion section really needs an article on this, and Stud Gov has never called out this problem before. While 92 clubs is a great selection, and I absolutely appreciate the diverse interests of the student body, I don’t understand how some students can attend five different clubs in a 50-minute time period. And there are so many great options that I would love to attend, but with how activity periods are blocked and the sheer number of clubs with different commitments, it’s nearly impossible to choose.
Antonio is a miracle worker.
In the depths of the AAC, there’s a relatively unknown teacher and trainer called Antonio. And since 99% of Lakesiders don’t do a sport, I bet most of you have never interacted with him, but I had this experience with him: my shoulders were extremely tight before a large sports event and I went to see him. He just used his fingers to press a few parts of my back and arms and … boom! No soreness. No tightness. Nothing but fully functional shoulder muscles ready to move, all in a span of 10 minutes!
I’ll spoil you with a hot take inside of a hot take: it kinda hurts. Within the 10 minutes that Antonio is poking and prodding every muscle in the aching region, every press of his thumbs feels like fire running through your veins. But the result is worth every muffled scream of pain and hiss through the teeth. Or maybe I just have a low pain tolerance.
Lakeside community, I know that we’re known for our kindness and open-mindedness, but some of these hot takes are so controversial that I was hesitant to release them from fear of backlash. Even if you disagree with me on everything, please don’t hate me: I’m just trying to do my job.
