After recently breaking the 90-club barrier in 2025, Lakeside Student Government has decided to award the annual “Most Clubs, Least Committed” award to a distinguished student who can demonstrate fitting the criteria of leading the most clubs and being the least committed to all of them. 

As described in the Stud Gov Constitution, winners of the award should “demonstrate their commitment to landing admission to a selective college outweighs a commitment to the values of the club.” The award is highly coveted among students, as it’s known to look really good on resumes while requiring a pathetic amount of effort.

The selection process is a rigorous three-week review period. Stud Gov representatives lock themselves in Bliss 202 and browse through the two-question applications to identify one student with an outstanding amount of clubs on their leadership list. Representatives also search for special marks of uncommitment, such as clubs that meet once a semester or have flashy positions like “Club CEO.” Stud Gov Treasurer Vishnu M. ’26 adds, “We are really looking for someone who really has too much on their plate. Like, seriously, too much. If leading clubs was a buffet, the recipient of the Least Committ— er, ‘Most Clubs’ award should have premium bluefin tuna sashimi balanced precariously on five carne asada crispy shell tacos resting on creamy cheese carbonara above a medium rare ribeye steak sitting on top of a freshly caught Maine lobster.”

Tatler had the opportunity to interview this year’s winner, who opted to go by the pseudonym “IV” because “I didn’t want to be spammed with all the calls from Yale and Stanford and Harvard. Like yoooo, chill with the glazing, fam.” The transcript is below.

Timothy D. ’27 (TD): How did it feel when you first learned you received the “Least Committed” — oops, I meant “Most Clubs” award?

IV (IV): Well, fun fact, I was actually in one of my clubs when I first received the news. We were watching The Wolf of Wall Street in Financial Literacy Club, which meets 1 ½ times a month during the final 17 minutes of Thursday ACT, when I heard a knocking on our door. Two disgruntled freshman Stud Gov reps walked in holding a misprinted certificate and told me I had just won the “Most Clubs” award! At that moment, I sank to my knees, and tears started flowing down my face like waterfalls down the side of a slot canyon during a torrential rainstorm. My mom and dad both really wanted me to win this award, and my college counselor had told me, quote, “UPenn ’boutta be kissin’ yo feet” if I won. 

TD: Wow, that sounds like an emotional reaction. Did you lean on any friends or family for support afterwards?

IV: Um, kinda. I snuck into the bathroom, pretended to take a dump, and texted my mom and my cousins. Though, I didn’t tell any of my friends about it since I knew my best friend was applying for the “Most Clubs” award, and there was going to be competition among my friend group.

TD: So, tell me about your clubs. I heard you were the leader of five clubs? Tell me how you decided to found or join each of them.

IV: Yes, I’m very proud of the five clubs I take a huge leadership role in. In freshman year, I founded Anesthesiology Club with one of my friends after I got sedated for my wisdom teeth removal, since I saw developing a better understanding of anesthesia was important for teenagers suffering through similar surgeries, and there was a lack of medicinal clubs … specifically related to anesthesia.

I also decided to form Financial Literacy Club and serve as the vice president since I’ve always been interested in making lots of money, and I wanted to share that passion for making money with other Lakeside students.

I’m also a co-leader of UNESCO Club, Animal Therapy Club, and Sustainability Club. 

Oh, also, there’s one kinda half exception. I’m an Apprentice Leader of the Honors Chemistry Survivors Tutoring (HCST), where we tutor struggling juniors on exothermic reactions and how to give a presentation on particle diagrams. So that makes it 5 ½. 

TD: How do you balance those clubs with your homework and out-of-school commitments?

IV: Easy. I ChatGPT my Multi, MCB, and Drawing & Painting homework, and I SparkNotes the rest. As for out-of-school commitments, I don’t really have anything because outside-of-school stuff is kind of a time commitment. For example, I think they should change the service learning system because I was really sad that I had to use 80 hours of my life to volunteer for TeenLink, when instead I could’ve been spending that time leading one of my clubs. 

The club commitment takes up a lot of my evening. I spend a ton of time planning pizza fundraisers for Animal Therapy Club, UNESCO Club, and HCST, then I make Instagram posts for Financial Freedom Club and Sustainability Club. But most of my work comes Wednesday and Monday night when I have to write emails for our club meetings. It takes a lot of work finding funny GIFs and making my text oddly colored. Also, the Stud Gov budget form is really difficult to fill out, which we have to do every quarter to request more money for snacks. Anyway, it helps that two of my clubs only meet once a year, and the others meet every other semester, so I can go to the other club meeting.

TD: Why do you think you were chosen to win the award?

IV: Well, other than seven other juniors and seniors—all of whom are in the same friend group—I am the leader of the most clubs, which I all care deeply about. I think my responses on the application were very well thought out. They asked us, “Tell us about a moment you had leading a club that changed the meaning of being a leader,” and “Why do you think you deserve this award?” When I read the first question, I instantly thought of the time I learned that new freshmen would clamor to serve as a co-leader of a club, and have the energy to write a lot of emails. That saved me a lot of my time. For the second question, I talked about being raised by fifth-generation immigrant parents who both worked very hard in the software industry and graduated from Stanford. My grandparents and my great-grandparents and my great-great-grandparents had all been in the software industry and graduated from Stanford, so it was natural for me to experience the burden of needing to succeed.

This transcript has been edited heavily for no reason.