Happy Valentine’s Day, Lakeside! Because love is in the air (and so is the “Tatler” poll), I’m back to answer your many love-related queries in this month’s advice column.
Q: How do I know if my crush likes me back?
A: Do you feel like they find ways to seek you out to talk to you? Do you feel a connection when you’re texting or talking? Do you feel like they keep sneaking glances at you? If any of these are true, there’s probably a chance your crush likes you back. At the end of the day, though, the only way to find out for sure is to make the first move to ask them directly. Send them a text asking if they’d like to hang out sometime outside of school (or wherever you met them, if it’s an extracurricular activity) and see how it goes from there.
Q: Why am I still single? (I am a snack.)
A: Good question … ask your friends if they know any hot people and add them on Snapchat to show them that you really are a snack.
Q: I’m single and broke … How do I become double and fixed?
A: Talk to the person above. Apparently, they’re a snack. But in all seriousness, there’s nothing you can do to speed up the process of getting into a relationship if you don’t feel a connection with anyone you know yet. If you are interested in someone and upset about being single, what are you doing? Ask them out! As for being broke, uhh … try to find a job, I guess? Think about where your interests and strengths lie and look into opportunities for high school students to earn money in those areas. For example, if you’re a natural at teaching, try to find a tutoring organization that will pay you for your work. Or, you could just kill two birds with one stone and find a rich person to go out with.
Talk to the person above. Apparently, they’re a snack.
Q: Should I ask her out?
A: Yes, go for it! If you want to get to know her better and enjoy spending time with her, that’s reason enough to just ask her if she feels the same way.
Q: How does one differentiate platonic vs. romantic attraction? How can you tell if you’re really in love with someone?
A: If you know, you know. If you’re always thinking about them and find yourself daydreaming about imaginary scenarios with them, chances are you’ve fallen for them. If you look forward to seeing them and the smallest moments like a shared smile have you ecstatic through the rest of the day, then yes, you’re probably experiencing romantic attraction.
Q: I got my heart broken twice in the last year, and I feel like I’m spiraling. I can’t even understand a lot of my own feelings at this point. HELP PLEASE!
A: Wow, that sounds tough. My advice is to just take some time for yourself and practice self-care. Let go of the idea that you need to be in a relationship. Do some meditation or read a feel-good book before bed. Maybe journal about your feelings to understand them or try to work with a close friend or family member to figure them out. Remember that it’s important to prioritize yourself too — especially after spending so much time prioritizing other people.
For example, if you’re a natural at teaching, try to find a tutoring organization that will pay you for your work. Or you could just kill two birds with one stone and find a rich person to go out with.
Q: Should I be taking notes on Romeo’s rizz?
A: Yes, absolutely. It certainly worked on Juliet. Just don’t poison yourself because you think your Juliet is dead. (Spoiler: She’s actually not.)
Q: What are the biggest red flags?
A: Being rude, not reading “Tatler,” being late to the first date, saying “rawr” unironically, eating Oreos by ripping them apart and licking the cream, gaslighting, supporting Michigan in college football, having a bad sense of humor, manspreading.
Q: Is it odd not to engage in relationships in high school?
A: Being single in high school is totally fine! If you want to spend time on yourself and develop your own interests, it’s okay to not be in a relationship. It’s impossible to force yourself to like someone enough to go out with them just for the sake of being in a relationship.
Thank you so much for all of the questions — keep up the engagement with the “Tatler” poll! Unfortunately, there’s not enough space to answer all of the creative and unique questions asked this month, but don’t worry. Responses to your questions will be coming through the advice column in future months. If you’re desperate for answers, ask your friends or ChatGPT.
