Relationships, Romance, and Rizz, Oh My!

Our advice column has come full circle. Over a year ago, we answered your first lovestruck questions from the perspective of “two single people.” Times have certainly changed since then, and now we’re back for another round, ready to answer your most pressing Valentines’ Day curiosities.


How do I know if they’re interested or just being nice? I’ve confused niceness with being interested  before, and I don’t know what to do at this point.

Don’t hold us accountable for anything, but there’s a few telltale signs that someone is flirting with you. Do they hold prolonged eye contact? Do they go out of their way to say hi to you or ask you questions? Have your friends noticed that they act differently around you? If so, they may be letting you know that they are interested. However, it’s really easy to read too much into these signals. If this is someone that you know pretty well, feel free to be super direct and honest. Or instead, try subtly flirting back at them and see how they respond.


How do I do a dramatic ask for Spring Fling?

The single biggest piece of advice is to FIGURE OUT IF THE OTHER PERSON WILL SAY YES BEFOREHAND. The last thing you want to do is put someone in a public situation that forces them to say yes because of peer pressure only for them to cancel on you later. Ask around and only do the dramatic ask if you know for sure that the other person is expecting you to ask them. Beyond that, think of a good pun, put it on a poster, pop over to QFC to buy their favorite candy or flowers, and you’re all set.


Can you ask somebody out if you know they like somebody else?

Nobody’s stopping you… but brace yourself for rejection.


Why does he give me signs that he likes me on some days and then acts like it never happened on other days?

We don’t know, but drop him! If he’s truly acting like it never happened, that’s two-faced, and you deserve better.


How does dating work? I’ve had one relationship and I think I rushed it and I still don’t know what a “normal” progression is.

There is no such thing as a normal progression, but it’s totally natural to look back on a failed relationship and think that you did something wrong. The reality is that a relationship is going to look vastly different with different kinds of people, and it’s not something that you can neatly plan out. Just trust your gut in the moment, go with the flow, and be prepared for the unexpected — it could end up moving much faster or slower than you expect!


What’s it like to feel romantic love? How can you tell apart platonic and romantic feelings?

What’s traditionally associated with romantic feelings is “butterflies in your stomach,” and a lot of the time romantic feelings also mean a want for physical intimacy — but this does not necessarily mean anything sexual! While labels and the words “platonic,” “romantic,” etc. can be helpful for identifying your feelings, you also have to recognize that they can be a trap — your experiences often won’t fit neatly under a single word. If you find a label helpful, that’s great, but don’t feel like you have to be either aromantic or experience full romantic attraction; there’s so much gray area in between. Everyone’s experiences will be different, so you have to just accept them for what they are and let them develop on their own.


Is it weird that I’ve never liked anyone before?

Not at all. Don’t think that you have to be interested in a relationship just because people around you are. You know what you want and need best.


Advice for how to start talking to someone?

Assuming this is over social media, keep it casual! To start a conversation, respond to Instagram or Snapchat stories. Ask little questions to start conversations and draw connections between you two. “Where’d you get that jacket/ring/item of clothing?” “Oh, I love skiing too.” “Do you listen to Girl in Red? ” (The last one only applies to some of us. Use it wisely.)  It’s always important to ensure that there is chemistry there, even if it is entirely platonic at this point. If that seems to be going well, you can begin to gauge their interest and singleness by dropping compliments and asking deeper questions. You know, flirt with them. But if they clearly aren’t reciprocating, maybe it’s best that you just stay friends. 


How can I find a partner outside of school?

Reach out through your mutual friends! Someone you know at Lakeside will likely be friends with people outside of school, so talk to them, and see if they can set you up or even just invite you to some of their hangouts with those social circles. Another strategy is to look for people in groups you’re already a part of. You probably do some sort of volunteering or another extracurricular outside of school, so look for people there!


How do I get rizz?

The writing on the whiteboard in our advisory space says that it depends on genetics — you have to have either the dominant W Rizz allele or a homozygous recessive Unspoken Rizz genotype. Thank you, Bio students, for enlightening us. You also need to have confidence, so do what you need to do to feel your best. Also make sure to consult our resident rizz expert Rishi L. ’24.


Why can’t we just go back to elementary school Valentine’s Day where everyone got candy and went home with a gigantic sugar rush?

We totally agree but will say that Valentine’s Day is what you make it. We’d fully support you gathering a group of people to all give each other Valentine’s cards and candy. Heck, send us an email at, and we’ll make you a custom Valentine’s candy gram from a “secret admirer.”