Bachelor’s Degree: Colleges As Dates

University of Washington

6.2 miles away

UW is the guy next door who you’ve known all your life. Your parents really like talking about you being together with him, but you’ve always rolled your eyes and said, “I know him too well.” Still, deep down, your heart will always have a place for UW, who helps you with your CS homework and takes you on cute dates like exploring local restaurants and having picnics under cherry blossom trees in April. He knows you well and is considerate and a great listener. Plus, he always splits the bill with you. 





Stanford University

850 miles away

Stanford is the most popular person at your school; they’re friends with most people and friendly with the rest. They are sunny, down-to-earth and fun to be around but also so effortlessly smart it’s hard to not feel insecure sometimes. They are known for being a super techy person (they interned with Apple executives the summer before senior year), but they also love going on hikes or watching art performances with you. 


University of Southern California

1,150 miles away

Short in stature but with the demeanor of a Hollywood star, USC took everyone’s breath away when she moved from LA to your school in junior year. She has her own YouTube channel with over three million subscribers and is probably related to someone famous, yet her family life remains a mystery. She hangs out with the athletes and can come off as intimidating. She gives you existential crises with seemingly innocent questions like “What’s your ideal trip?” before making you feel like the luckiest one alive when she invites you to the exclusive pre-release screening of that blockbuster movie. 

New York University

2,863 miles away

You went to middle school with NYU, but you guys lost touch when he moved to New York. The only things you know about him are from what he posts on his social media… and it seems like he’s living the best life: parties, fashion, and Wall Street drama that truly embody the New Yorker life, or what you think is the New Yorker life based on the movies and shows and the glimpses of Manhattan you caught on a trip. 

University of Pennsylvania

2,832 miles away

You got to know Penn through NYU. Penn lives on an accelerated schedule, achieving 48 hours of work in just 24. She’s known that she wants to make it big in business since she was five and works very hard toward that goal. Hanging out with her can feel hectic at times, but she very thoughtfully carves out hour-long blocks in her stuffed Google Calendar for spending time with you, during which you two get ramen together or just hang out. She often wears her navy blue and red turtleneck sweater. Her favorite breakfast is the Quaker’s apple & cinnamon oatmeal. 

Aerial view of campus taken June 2018 (Michael J. Cohen)

Harvard University

3,050 miles away

Harvard is always the talk of the town, the one that everybody points to when they talk about the perfect partner for anyone. And why wouldn’t they? Even if you don’t follow their social media, you’ll always hear about their escapades and see the photos floating around about the famous people they’ve befriended, or alternatively courted, in the past. Perhaps their reputation is a bit overinflated, much like their expectations of their partners, but if you manage to get them to swipe right, chances are that they’re a good choice for you. Also, the Bostonian accent is a give or take.

Yale University

2,942 miles away

The first thing you heard about Yale were his neighbors’ complaints, but once you look past that, you’ll see he’s a pretty attractive guy (literally the epitome of academia aesthetics). Living with him is a solid choice because of the pretty environs. He’ll take you to interesting places and is an artsy fellow, naturally curious and asks many questions (about you too, so you have to be ready). Perhaps he’s a bit overstated, and your parents will always bring him up in the same breath as Harvard when thinking about who you’ll be with in the future, but he’s still a solid partner. 

McGraw Tower, Uris Library and Ho Plaza in fall, shot from Barnes Hall. (Lindsay France / Cornell Marketi)

Cornell University

2,748 miles away

Cornell’s friends generally act above her level, so she can be insecure, but overall, she’s a good partner. She’s the workaholic type, but if you can deal with her… dubious relationship with mental health, she’s a solid partner to have. She’s surprisingly down-to-earth at times, serious when she works, and fun when she parties — though she kind of has to be, since she lives in the middle of nowhere — and she’ll take you on exciting outings to New York or nice tours of the wilderness. Also, for some reason, she really likes birds.