To learn more about the mysterious green stick carried by a sophomore often seen around campus, Tatler sat down with an interview with the (wo)man, the myth, the legend herself: Helen S. ’28. Below is a transcript of the conversation, edited for clarity and concision. Aside from insights on the stick, discussed are ponderings about day-to-day conversation, America’s political landscape, and humanity’s perspective on existence itself.
Timothy D. ’27 (TD): Well, the big question is, tell me about the stick!
Helen S. ’28 (HS): It’s not that interesting, actually. It’s just a walking stick — that’s what I’ve been telling everyone — and that’s kind of about it.
TD: Where’d you get it?
HS: I was with my friends, it was Redmond downtown, and we were walking along the shops. We never really buy anything because there’s nothing good to buy; we just like walking along. We went into Daiso — and I actually hate Daiso.
TD: Really?
HS: When you walk inside, at first glance, you want to buy everything. I think it’s because all the packaging is clear, and I really like clear things. Then, on closer inspection, there’s nothing that actually would help me in any way, and it’s terrible. Every time, if I spend more than ten minutes in that store, I genuinely get upset about it.
But on that specific Daiso in Redmond, I walked towards the back, and there was a gardening section, and that’s where the stick is from. It’s a bamboo gardening support. And out of hatred for Daiso, I decided to get the thing that is most opposite to what they usually sell.
And also, I just really like sticks.
TD: When did you get it?
HS: Summer of 2025.
TD: You said you like sticks; have you had any other sticks before?
HS: Not really; it’s like this with a lot of things. I don’t know why, there’s just [this] specific feeling I can feel within my body when I like something.
TD: How much did the stick cost?
HS: It was pretty cheap, I think it was three for two.
TD: So you have three of these?
HS: No, no, it’s three dollars for two of them, but I gave one of them away.
TD: Do people ever ask you about the stick?
HS: They do, and again, it’s not that interesting of a story, and I honestly don’t know why they ask me. I don’t think it’s that unusual; I’ve seen more unusual things.
TD: Such as?
HS: The entire vibe of the school, it’s very off-putting. I don’t know what it is, but I think it’s the buildings, because they’re so old. There’ve been signs, ominous signs that something bad is going to be happening.
TD: Do teachers ever ask you about the stick?
HS: Teachers have asked me too, and I feel like teachers, that’s even weirder because in my mind, they’re old, so they’re used to having canes around.
TD: Do you ever feel judged, or is it just curiosity?
HS: It’s honestly sad, because when they ask me, I wish I had a more interesting story to tell.
TD: Do you carry it around even outside of school, or is it just for school?
HS: Sometimes I carry it around outside of school, but it’s mainly just for school. Well, also, I just don’t go outside.
TD: Does it have a name?
HS: I don’t know why [it would], because it’s not a pet or anything.
TD: I guess I would sometimes name my instrument.
HS: True, but I don’t want to humanize it in a way.
TD: What’s the biggest misconception about the stick?
HS: I don’t think there’s much to misconceive about it.
Can I ask you a question?
TD: Of course.
HS: Who’s your favorite president?
TD: In what way? In terms of policy, or vibes?
HS: Vibes.
TD: I have to admit, Obama was pretty cool.
HS: That’s a fair response.
TD: What’s yours?
HS: Calvin Coolidge. Presidents in general have kind of been sort of my latest obsession, in a way. It’s sort of the same thing with the stick, but this year, around early October, I got really into presidents and I started learning a lot about them. Of course, it’s only been a month, so I still have more to learn about, but Calvin Coolidge is definitely one of my favorites, because he’s just so chill. He’s known for not talking a lot and not doing a lot, which many thus blame him for the Great Depression, which occurred a few years after he was out of office.
He’s definitely not the greatest president in terms of actual policy, but I like him for what he stands for, in that he very much advocated for a smaller role for the presidency, similar to actually what George Washington did.
TD: What were you interested in before presidents?
HS: I had an era where I was really into solitaire. I would play solitaire at every opportunity. I was also into poker before that.
This is also very recent, but just this weekend, I’ve been kind of getting into The Beatles. I don’t know a lot about them yet, but I’ve seen way too many edits of them on my Instagram feed. Now I’m kind of forced to like them.
TD: Do you have a favorite song?
HS: I only know the hits so far, but “A Day in the Life” is pretty good. It’s also the highest rated song of all time on Rate Your Music, so it’s not a very original pick.
TD: Any other fun facts about yourself?
HS: I don’t think I’m that interesting. I usually tell people facts about other things. I do daily presidential fun facts on “A” days.
TD: Do you have any interesting memories with this stick?
HS: For Halloween, I did put the U.S. flag on it.
TD: Who were you dressed up as for Halloween?
HS: Harry S. Truman.
TD: Why Truman?
HS: Well, he’s one of the better presidents, in my opinion. And, most importantly, he has round glasses, which is pretty much as distinctive of a feature you can get for a president.
TD: How do you judge presidents?
HS: Well, of course there’s their policy, which I will admit I’m not that well-versed in, but also their personality. I guess this is kind of commentary on the current political landscape, but it’s gotten to the point where people have satirized politics in general and turned politicians into characters. So I guess that’s also how I view them as well. The history of America is a show, and I pick the one who I like the most.
TD: Do you like political cartoons?
HS: No, because I feel like in those cases it’s too serious. They’re often trying to make a point, which defeats the entire purpose of liking presidents for me.
I feel like there’s too much meaning in everything nowadays. It’s interesting to think about, because not everything should have a meaning. Otherwise, it’s redundant. But also, people try too hard to put meaning into things, [when] really, it should just be more fun.
TD: Do you have an example?
HS: Conversations in general. I feel like it’s expected that conversations should lead to a riveting conclusion about life. You have to strike a balance. To have an interesting conversation, in my opinion, you can’t have a conversation that’s just about school, about homework, because that’s really boring and sad, and nobody wants to talk about that. But you also can’t have a conversation that delves into the meaning of life. It works in some cases, but you can’t start with that, because it’s too introspective, and it’s not easy for people to open up.
TD: I’ve actually learned a lot about just life, just talking to you. I’m just so caught up in moving to the next thing, you don’t really take time to reflect.
Yeah, I don’t mean to be morbid, but I guess in a way, we’re all going to die anyways, so might as well do something fun.
TD: Which is funny, because I feel like there’s an impending doom upon us. But how do you remain happy and optimistic then?
HS: Is there an impending doom, though?
TD: I don’t know, I feel like the news nowadays just makes everything seem bleak. Which is ironic, considering I’m the news here.
HS: Yeah, I guess, but my perspective is that I’ve always kind of been the contrary. Whenever someone says something, my first thought is to think, “oh, what if that isn’t true?” So my interpretation of that is that the media needs to cause emotions — that’s how they get clicks. I do feel like they’re definitely exaggerating.
There’s always been things to worry about in the future. No matter what era you’re in, there’s always more bad things in the future.
TD: Thank you for your insight. I guess I have one last question about the stick. Is it ever hard to carry the stick around?
Sometimes, when I’m walking. I suspect spring will be hard, especially in the mornings, because I run track and cross-country, so I have my sports bag. And I also carry my instrument, [the] bass clarinet, and that’s a pretty heavy instrument.
TD: Are you ever afraid of it breaking?
HS: I am afraid of it breaking, but it’s surprisingly sturdy. I think it’s made of real bamboo with a plastic coating.
TD: One last question, before we close off. If you could tell the entire school something, anything …
HD: That’s a lot of pressure.
TD: … What would it be?
HD: That is a lot to think about at once. I’ve never had this much power before.
TD: Now you do.
HS: I think I would ask them… who’s their favorite president?
This interview has been edited for clarity and concision.
