Lakesiders have all seen the progress on the new building, but there remain pressing rumors on its completion. Tatler has now confirmed the rumors to be true: unfortunately, Lakeside lacks the funding to complete the new building. However, faculty overseeing the construction have decided that it’s too late to abandon the project and have made a few adjustments to ensure that the building will be made. One of these adjustments has been SAGE’s new charge on tea and coffee. Teachers have increased the demand for this product by assigning more tests and projects, leading students to sleep less and thus buy more caffeinated drinks. And it seems to be working — SAGE has already accumulated 700 dollars from charging for tea and coffee alone. Meanwhile, Lakeside has also upped the yearly tuition by 15,000 dollars in hopes of finishing the project. Even still, the building is underfunded and the following changes will need to be made:

No Pool

In the original design, there was an Olympic-sized pool placed on the third floor, which was hinted at in an image from an earlier construction presentation that the presenter forgot to remove. The pool was removed from the building and is being replaced with an empty rooftop space for school dances. 

Structural Consolidation

Similar to Donald Trump’s government efforts with DOGE, the construction company has begun to remove sections of steel. This includes several wall and floor frames that will be sold to other construction companies. Though the building is still structurally sound, there will be a few areas in the building blocked off to prevent the structure from crumbling upon students.

No Basement

One of the building’s features was a small basement for storage items. Since this no longer exists, most of the supplies will be stored with the mish mosh of molding food, strewn clothes, and used paper towels in the AAC locker rooms.

Chair Policy

Lakeside lacks the money to buy enough chairs for the new building, so teachers are creating a ‘Chair Policy’ in order to make up for this deficit. Looking for ways to add to bench duty, students will now move the chairs to and from the WCC and the new building. Fortunately, this will provide conditioning to those in Lakeside sports, though coaches are skeptical that anything can improve Lakeside’s performance.