On Tuesday April 1st, 2025, in a joint press conference with representatives from all 18 Metro League schools, the Saudi Crown Prince announced the full acquisition of the League for a record breaking $2 billion. Though the motives for this move remain unresolved, an inside source tells me that the buyers first gained interest after viewing an Inevitable Athlete video on Youtube.
This exciting transfer doesn’t come without downsides, however: a couple major changes will be put into place by the new leadership. Firstly, in an effort to increase league popularity, Tom Brady is set to come out of retirement for the 9th time and play for the Ballard Beavers. Longtime teammate and friend Rob Gronkowski is set to join him on the field as well. It has not been determined whether he will be allowed to pregame the games yet.
In an arguably more shocking turn, there will only be one sport in the winter season. In the Tuesday press conference, Crown Prince bin Salman stated “I’d rather leave OPEC than spend my time under a December gray sky in Seattle.” As such, there will now be a motocross racing series hosted nowhere else but the Rub’ Al Khali. Students looking to participate are encouraged to drop out of school in order to cut down travel costs.
The final change has to do with the location of the next eight Metro League Soccer Championship games. With the 2034 World Cup being hosted by Saudi Arabia, they will look to gain experience by hosting the 16 team tournament in the years leading up to 2034. However, there is still an ongoing bidding war for the 2029 championship that could throw a wrench in the Saudis’ plans. Allegedly promising $3.4 billion and multiple new stadiums to the WIAA, Seattle Academy made an offer that is hard to beat. The construction plans for the 90,000 and 80,000 seat stadiums that would be built adjacent to their downtown campus have not been approved by the city yet, but if they win the bid the city would likely comply.
The 2026-2027 Metro League will look a lot different to this year’s edition, but many are already excited about it. “A new governing body in a sports league doesn’t have to mean bad things” says one athletic director whose school was offered 40,000 barrels of crude oil. “We are very excited to build a new culture with the Crown Prince and his team.” The impact this will have on the people who matter most, the students, is something that will only be known once the season concludes. But for now, look out for the Lakeside Motocross team.
