Lakeside students have done it again. Having already proven to be an incredibly diverse group of people with a myriad of talents ranging from math to chess to science to basketball, Lakesiders are now stepping into the field of lawnmowing. Last weekend at the annual Lawnmowing American Olympiad (LMAO), Lakeside’s Lawnmowing Club took home the all-around first-place trophy.
First of all, what is the LMAO? It’s a team-based lawnmowing competition consisting of two events, creatively named Endurance and Speed. Endurance is a relay-style match, where each participant mows one acre of land before passing the mower to the next person. At the end of each match, the fields are meticulously inspected, and points are taken off for any sloppiness or incompletion. Speed, on the other hand, is an individual competition, where each person mows as much land as possible in the ten-minute time period. Scoring for this event is proportional to the sum of land mowed by the team.
At the end of the competition, freshman team Mariah M. ’28, Erin B. ’28, Matthew K. ’28, and Eric C. ’28 took home the all-around gold with a landslide victory. Aptly named the MEME team (just take the first letter of each of their names), this tenacious group of students spent hours every day toiling through frostbite from frigid winters and torrents from Seattle’s notoriously unpredictable rain. Tatler managed to capture a snippet of their conversation about their vigorous training shortly after the shocking win.
Matthew: Remember that bomb cyclone we had in November of last year? Well, we were actually doing a four-hour training session.
Eric: Oh, yeah, I remember that. Lawnmowing against 50 mph winds really helped my strength and technique.
Mariah: Why do I feel like we ended practice early that day?
Matthew: Because a tree fell down and almost conked Erin out.
Erin: Not my fault.
Their hours of training definitely paid off, as all four of them returned carrying custom-made golden trophies sponsored by AOLM (Art of Lawnmowing). After diving into their individual stories, it was clear that each member had their own unique reason and motivation for continuing this grueling sport.
“My mom told me to touch grass, so I went and brought home the gold medal,” Mariah solemnly stated. She elaborated on this, saying that before she began lawnmowing competitively, it was a “really relaxing activity” and a “chore at home that [she] could actually enjoy.” After all, according to Mariah, there’s “nothing better than the mass murder of grass.” Over time, she “somehow got good at the sport” by learning avidly from her teammate, Eric, and taking occasional private lessons.
Erin, however, had a much less relaxing relationship with grass: she was moderately allergic to some types of it. “Some grass once gave me allergies, so I decided to cut down all its friends,” Erin said vehemently. Apparently, the “some grass” that Erin was referring to was the grass on the Lakeside Upper School campus separating Parsons Field and the WCC. During Lakeside’s 2024 May Day, she accidentally inhaled some grass after tripping and landing face-first on the ground, leading her to “sit out and try to breathe for thirty minutes.” From then on, she had what she described as a “serious vendetta against all grass.” That, combined with the fear of getting an allergic reaction, is what drives Erin to persevere while racing against the clock.
Matthew was brought into the team against his will. “They needed a fourth member, and I got dragged into it,” Matthew sighed, taking a trip down memory lane. “After the ninth-grade retreat, when the three of them saw me pushing my luggage through the grass, Eric said that I was ‘big enough’, ‘strong enough’, and ‘tough enough’ to compete with them. I was hesitant at first and rejected his offer, but Eric messaged me several times a day about it — so much so that I considered blocking him. But hey, I can’t let my homie down, so I agreed. Look where I am now.” Matthew’s wise words truly invoke a deep sense of appreciation for his peers, whose “once boring, sport-less life” has become one filled with adventure and hope.
Eric, the leader of the MEME team, came home last week grinning from ear to ear. He, as his teammates describe him, is the “textbook definition of a true mower.” He had an early start in the sport; at the meager age of eight, his parents told him to mow the lawn if it ever became dry and yellow. Eric immediately went outside and bulldozed all the grass to their very roots. His parents were confused, stating that the grass was a lush green shade and that there was no need to do all that work. In response, Eric asked, “Grass is green? I thought it was red, so I mowed it all!” That marked the start of his journey in lawn mowing … and his struggles with colorblindness. Over the years, his passion for the sport grew. Nowadays, he can spend hours at a time in the library, flipping through thick textbooks on lawn mowing tricks and techniques. His “photographic memory and love for the sport drove [him] to follow this trajectory. To [him], lawn mowing is [his] heart and soul.”
“I’m so, so grateful to my entire team for putting up with me and my incessant nagging,” Eric laughs, closing out the interview while hugging his ginormous golden trophy. “Next year, I’ll be starting a Competitive Lawnmowing Club for all the interested athletes. Keep on mowing, Lakeside!”
