So you’ve decided to shoot your shot. Congratulations, brave one. But before you go in with your heart on your sleeve (a scientifically unverified tactic), let’s break down the statistically optimal way to dress, smell, and act to maximize your chances of success. If we can use science to send people to the moon, surely we can use it to land you a date.
Tip #1. Color Me Impressed
According to a study published in Collabra: Psychology, red makes people appear more attractive due to subconscious associations with passion and status. Men find women in red particularly alluring, and women rate men in red as more powerful and dominant. Primates also associate red with peak fertility. So, go full red — shirt, pants, socks, maybe even dye your hair. Will you look like a human tomato? Possibly. Will you be irresistible? Science says yes. But if your crush happens to be red-green colorblind (perhaps ask them beforehand, as not to dye your hair in vain), fear not. Blue has been shown by the Purdue University Study on Color Perception to be the color of trustworthiness and reliability. Perfect if you want your crush to think, “This person looks like they’d do my taxes correctly.”
Tip #2. The Nose Goes
Research in Frontiers in Psychology suggests that vanilla and lavender scents are calming, improve sleep, and make you seem more approachable. So rub yourself down with some vanilla extract or bathe in lavender oil beforehand (but maybe not both). If you’re not a fan of those suggestions, citrus-y scents are also advisable. The Journal of Sensory Studies reports that citrus scents like bergamot help wearers appear energetic and sociable. In other words, it’ll give off “I have my life together” energy to your date.
Tip #3. Strategic Bling
Subtle but eye-catching seems to yield the highest success rate here. For example, a single classy necklace? Terrific. A watch that signals your ability to be punctual without a school bell? Even better. But ten rings on one hand? You’re a pirate now. In terms of ear-wear, dangling earrings are a good choice. Research suggests that movement draws attention (I do hope they are able to solidify this claim in the near future), so slightly swaying earrings may draw your crush’s attention to your lavender-oiled face and lovely red locks. Be sure not to overdo it — we are going for intrigue here, not wind chimes.
Tip #4. Statistically Speaking
A study from The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior (which yes, primarily studies nonverbal behavior), finds that deeper voices are more attractive. Before you ask your crush out (surely you weren’t planning to do it over text), take a deep breath and channel your inner David Attenborough Planet Earth voice. Anything he says sounds profound, right? And don’t forget to speak slowly. According to communications researchers, talking slower makes you seem pensive and confident. To be exact, speaking 5-10% slower is what you should aim for because after the 10% mark, you’ll start to sound like you’re buffering. This technique is best applied with a good amount of practice and utilization of the Voice Memos app.
By choosing to follow these four science-based tips, I assure you that your odds of success are undoubtedly some percentage higher. But if your crush somehow is able to resist your scent and charm and reject your date, remain unbothered like the scientifically optimized dating guru you are. Simply smile and say, “No worries, have a great day!” 5-10% slower than usual, and walk away — bonus points if you can sway your earrings while doing so. Now go forth, dress in red, smell like a citrus-lavender cocktail, and win hearts with the power of science!
