Compiled by Timothy D. ’27

my ex-boyfriend was super concerned with acting macho all the time but he absolutely BAWLED his eyes
out when we went to see Barbie lmao (it was sweet).

I once went out with a guy for five entire hours and we went to dinner and to the bowl & skate and then I literally never saw him again until I was on a date with ANOTHER guy and ran into him and they knew each other and it was awkward.

Once upon a time, I invited this girl to go sailing with me. At first, it sounded like a fantastic idea, but sometimes all that is well does not end well. The sun was shining with a burning haze, casting scalding rays across the lake. Sunburn was inevitable. The wind was barely gusting and it wasn’t until we left dock that we realized that the wind would not aid us on our travels. Drifting, I brandished the onboard oars and began to row while we both cooked underneath the burning sun. But our troubles did not end there. The lake was crowded and privacy was impossible. All had gone to ashes and an emergency abort was needed. We turned around and came back to shore, coming back with only our saddened souls and our sunburned backs.

Before we had started dating, we had gone to Pacific Science Center together to see how it’d be like now that we were older. All the exhibits we quickly went through (a butterfly landed on me in the greenhouse and she took a photo of it on my back!)
and we were finished much before our planned end time. Because of that, we decided to walk around and we ended up going to a place where there was a huge winter-themed diorama and the visitors could look for certain events and objects on the table. It wasn’t horribly difficult to find them until we got to the goats. Oh boy, the goats. Apparently, they were in a tree, but no matter what we did we could not find them. We definitely circled around at least an extra 5 loops before asking for a hint from one of the staff members; however, the goats still managed to evade our search. I think we ended up just asking where they were and turns out, it really was not very hidden and maybe we’re just blind.

I was on a date to the roller rink with my boyfriend. We had finished skating and we were sitting on the bench. We had kissed on the lips before at this same roller rink. Then, when he turned his face to kiss my cheek, I thought he wanted to kiss my lips! So, I turned towards his face as he was kissing me!!! He jumped away and I was super flustered. Oof, it was horrible. This was early on in our relationship where we had to worry about first impressions and stuff, so that was embarrassing. Ha!

He tried to kiss me and I dodged it and said I wasn’t ready so he got mad and started calling his friends and then left and later I found out he took one of my hoodies…

I went on a Starbucks date and she made me pay for her drink before breaking up with me three days later.