What will my 2023 be like?

We are advice columnists, not oracles. Obviously what happens to you in 2023 isn’t entirely in your control, but a lot of how the year will be has to do with your mindset. Start romanticizing your life, everyone!

Will we be getting a Lakeside ski bus? Please can we?

That question may be a bit above our pay grade. A ski bus would be amazing, and we offer you our full support — if you’re talking to admin about it and they have any doubts, just tell them that Lucy and Zane approve of it, and they’ll be convinced right away.

What should you do if you think that your…

We’re not entirely sure what to make of this, so we’ll provide a few potential answers:

• If you think that your Christmas tree is decaying and it’s time to get rid of it, it is. Don’t prolong its suffering any longer.
• If you think that your dog is secretly a cat in a dog suit, throw a ball of yarn at it. If it eats the yarn, you know it’s a dog. If it starts clawing at it, your worst suspicions are confirmed.
• If you think that your winter break was too short, keep in mind that there’s a four-day weekend coming up soon! And midwinter break is not too long after that.
• If you think that you’re lacking the sensation of a warm hug, find every comforter and blanket in your home and roll yourself into a seventeen-layer burrito.

What are some achievable New Year’s resolutions?

ASK MORE QUESTIONS IN THE POLL. LISTEN, WE KNOW IT’S THE END OF THE YEAR, AND IT’S A BUSY TIME BUT PLEASE NEXT TIME JUST MAKE OUR JOBS EASIER AND SUBMIT MORE THAN 12 TOTAL RESPONSES. FOR THIS ARTICLE WE EVEN HAD TO WRITE ANSWERS TO PARTIAL QUESTIONS. *Insert dramatic sob.* Please…

In all seriousness, maybe try to develop a habit of getting all of your school things ready the night before, so that you have a more relaxing morning and can sleep in a bit. Or make the effort to reach out to a person you’ve lost touch with. Or Marie Kondo the heck out of your room the next time you have a chance.

What are fun games to play online with friends?

Some personal faves are Valorant, Fall Guys, Skribbl.io, GamePigeon, Jackbox, and, of course, Minecraft. Please leave the Among Us in 2020 unless you’re playing it in a campy way to relive the most socially awkward season of your life.

What is your favorite warm beverage?

The tears of our enemies. Also known as Earl Grey tea.

Nope!

Okay!

Thoughts on New Year’s karaoke?

Absolutely! Start the night off strong with Europe’s “The Final Countdown” and end with a rendition of Taylor Swift’s “New Year’s Day,” sung through regret-induced tears for all the things you failed to do in 2022. But don’t worry, there’s always next year.