Below is the estimated timeline of one of the more chaotic closing nights of a Lakeside show in recent history: “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” This is not a review of the play. 

Note: Cast members will be referred to by their initials.

12:00 – HX emails the director to notify him that she is too sick to perform that night. 

1:05 – EB’s email, however, says that she has recovered from her case of bronchitis and will be back for the final performance.

5:00 – The cast is called for notes. People show up with dinner from Chipotle, drinks from Starbucks, etc.

5:15 – It becomes apparent that SD has lost her voice. She insists that she is fine, but it’s fairly obvious that she is not. 

5:50 – The director runs to Starbucks to buy SD tea to help her voice.

6:00 – Mic check for BAM, LK, SD, and JM-B. The mics don’t work. 

6:10 – Mic problems have been solved. SD is mic’d up to assure that she can be heard.

6:40 – House opens, seats fill quickly.

6:45 – The cast goes into the house to greet the esteemed audience members.

7:00 – Curtain! AJ starts us off strong with the opening lines of the play: “Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace.”

7:10 – SD and her fellow rude mechanicals come on stage. She coughs through her first line. However, stage presence makes up for her lack of a strong voice. She powers through. The play continues smoothly.

7:25 – A few fairies (who shall remain unnamed) miss their entrance. Oops. 

7:35 – JM-B’s mic pack falls out. The show goes on.

7:45 – The mechanicals take a selfie on an audience member’s phone and determine that yes, the moon doth shine the night they play their play.

8:00 – A photo is taken of ML sleeping backstage. He won’t be back on for another twenty minutes.

8:05 – It is decided that SD’s voice is too far gone for her to perform as Pyramus in the play within a play. A plan is formulated. The cast collaboratively write new lines to be added to the scene for context. You heard that right. They wrote Shakespeare. In under 10 minutes.

8:10 – To prevent the director from having a heart attack when his actors go off script, MD sneaks into the audience to inform him of the plan. He approves.

8:15 – SD’s mic pack falls out. She picks it up and swings it around. The audience laughs.

8:20 – In BAM’s very late BeReal, LK and JM-B can be spotted engaged in an intense game of chess.

8:25 – BM announces that, “With great regret we must inform, thy Bottom the Weaver lath lost his voice, and though we have searched high and low it is to no avail, so from my mouth shall his words hail.” SD mimes Pyramus’ part as BM speaks her lines (script in hand, though she already had much of it memorized) from behind. It’s brilliant. Afterwards, many audience members remark that they had no idea it was a detour from the original plot. “I can’t believe the Lakeside Fall Play gaslighted me into believing Bottom lost his voice,” remarks one shocked spectator.

8:40 – MR and SB do the worm. ML does a legendary death drop. There is a slow motion video to prove it.

8:45 – JM-B and LK dance a waltz choreographed by SB, complete with spins and a dip, accompanied by their lovely fairies. For the first time ever, LK’s crown does not fall off. 

8:50 – BAM recites the last lines of the play. The show has closed.

Cast List:

The Band (Fairy, Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, Mustardseed, Fairies)

Hallie X ’23

Emmy B ’23

Cassia W ’23

Isabella N ’23

Lorelei S ’25

Kimberly Y ’25

Betsmona A ’25

Shepard S ’25

Nicole G ’25

Vera L ’26

Theseus Anni J ’23

Hippolyta Michael L ’24

Philostrate Lea R ’24

Egeus Eva T ’24

Hermia Mica R ’23

Lysander Stellan M ’23

Demetrius Kyle F ’25

Helena Shobha B ’24

Quince Bella M ’25

Snug Orion A ’23

Bottom Sadie DS ’24

Flute Graham P ’25

Snout Mac D ’25

Starveling Justin Y ’23

Puck Bee Alexander M ’24

Oberon Julian MB ’23

Titania Lucy K ’24