Allow me to set the scene: Halloween is quickly approaching, but you don’t have anything to wear! Instead of finding a good costume, you put on a jersey and tell people you’re that sports player. While your friends are decked out in cosplay that they’ve been planning since last November, you’re embarrassed by your pathetic excuse for a costume, and for good reason. So, if you don’t want to make a fool of yourself this spooky season, check out our meticulously compiled list of eight last-minute costumes, ranked by difficulty and level of drip.

Soccer Mom

Difficulty: 1

Dripometer: 2

This one works extra well if you wear the same size clothes as your mother. Throw on a zip-up sweatshirt, sweatpants, your favorite sandals, grab a duffel bag on your way out, and you’re good to go!

Extra credit: Show up in a minivan and convince your friends to dress up in soccer jerseys and act like your children. If you’re really committed, hand out orange slices and CapriSuns and argue with any referees you see.

A Formal Apology

Difficulty: 1

Dripometer: 3

This goes out to anyone who embraces any—any—opportunity to get dressed to the nines. As long as you have a fancy outfit in the back of your closet,  just add a sign around your neck that reads “I’m sorry,” and boom—easy and punny Halloween costume.

Extra credit: Go to Goodwill and find yourself a ball gown! You’d be surprised how easy and inexpensive they can be.

Kazoo Kid

Difficulty: 1

Dripometer: 3

One of my personal favorites on this list, if only for the fact that you get to carry kazoos around all day and jump out and scare people by screaming “YOU on KAZOO!!” at the top of your lungs. Find a blue t-shirt, red shorts, sneakers, a kazoo, of course, and you’re all set.

Extra credit: Get the blond bowl cut, obviously. Buy a wig…or, if you’re truly invested, commit to the hairstyle. I haven’t yet seen anyone pull it off, but I’d love to be proven wrong.

When Life Gives You Lemons

Difficulty: 2

Dripometer: 2

We’ve certainly been handed a lot of lemons by life this past year, so why not commemorate it with your Halloween costume? You can get iron-on letters at any craft store to spell out “Life,” and I assume plastic lemons would be found in similar stores.

Extra credit: Hand out lemon candies to young trick-or-treaters. Or actual lemons, but that would be kind of mean.

The Grim Sweeper

Difficulty: 2

Dripometer: 3

Might you look a little ridiculous walking around in black robes with a large broom? Yes. Will it be worth it when you tell people what your costume is? Absolutely.

Extra credit: Cover the broom bristles in fake blood. And if you don’t know how to make fake blood, that’s probably a good thing.

The General Idea

Difficulty: 3

Dripometer: 2

As long as you have some camo clothing around and a lightbulb suspended above your head, people will get the general idea of your costume. (See what I did there?) 

Extra credit: Find a convincing general’s uniform. I have no idea where you’d acquire this, but that’s for you to figure out.

Gum on Your Shoe

Difficulty: 3

Dripometer: 3

One of the trickier and more time-consuming projects, but if you’re looking for a reason to procrastinate on your schoolwork, this is certainly a good one. The idea is to make a sneaker out of cardboard, attach it to your head, and dress up in all one color as if you’re ABC gum.

Extra credit: Stick real ABC gum to yourself. No, but seriously, don’t do that. That’s disgusting.

Bob Ross and a Happy Little Tree

Difficulty: 3

Dripometer: infinity

If anyone can pull this off, I am forever in their debt. The main difficulty in this costume is convincing your friend that you would be the better Bob Ross and they therefore need to be the tree, but if you can achieve that, you’re good to go.

Extra credit: The concept is pretty perfect as-is, but for an added challenge, convince your younger siblings to be happy little trees. Bribery may be necessary, but it’ll be worth it for the pictures that you can show their partners in a few decades.