Tatler, Lakeside School’s newspaper since 1936, is in dire financial straits and needs your help. The administration recently notified us, the Editors-in-Chief of Tatler, that they would be cutting the paper’s funding due to “gross incompetence.” The administration also sent us a list of mistakes to accept responsibility for:

1. Tatler allowed brutally honest remarks to be published in the Angry Lion
2. Tatler did not allow brutally honest remarks to be published in the Angry Lion
3. Tatler published “lewd” content which gave rise to parental complaints
4. Tatler leadership attempted a coup on Maile Wong and The Bull (Lakeside’s leading news source)
5. Tatler — actually, just one, dangerously attractive Editor-in-Chief — broke no news, but far too many hearts

We sincerely apologize for these errors and are committed to preventing them from happening again. Unfortunately, we might not get the chance to improve without the financial support of our readers. In accordance with school policy and Stud Gov bureaucracy, we cannot accept donations. Therefore, we, left with no other recourse, have made the challenging decision to auction off Tatler’s assets.

In March, the artist Beeple made headlines when he sold a piece of digital art for $69 million. This transaction was made possible by NFTs (non-fungible-tokens). An NFT is a digital proof of ownership that’s often used to sell art. In this case, Anya and I attached NFTs to Tatler work: articles, photos, illustrations, even entire issues. The .pdf file of the April Edition, which you are reading right now, can be bought through a virtual auction house. The same is true for historic issues dating all the way back to 1936. You can now own everything a Tatler staff member has ever put effort into creating. We did not receive permission to sell the work of past and current Tatler contributors; rest assured, all proceeds will be put to good use keeping the paper afloat.

Thank you for your support. Scan the QR code or follow this link to view the pieces listed for virtual auction.