This is an anonymous advice column for all your LGBTQ+ questions. Two members of the Tatler Staff who identify in this group will be answering all of your wonderful musings this month. We welcome all questions and will answer them to the best of our ability. Please submit questions for the next issue to the Tatler poll!
Question 1: Besides Pose and Queer Eye, what do you think is the best LGBTQ focused show out there?
Neither of us watch TV very much, but there is Recon, a webseries about queer spy students!
Question 2: How do you make a first move on someone when you don’t know their sexuality?
Well, at Lakeside, chances are they’re bi. Honestly though, transparency is the best policy. Just tell them you like them! If they aren’t attracted to you, that’s okay, and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with their sexuality. If you are too nervous to do a cold ask, try asking about their sexuality and, if their sexuality would work with yours, ask them out!
Question 3: Is there discrimination within the community (like colorism within certain races)?
Absolutely! Neither of us have experienced it personally, but there are certainly transphobic gay people out there and those who think bisexuality is not real. Even within specific sexual orientations, some people have ideas of “purity” or “real” gayness. The idea of a “gold star gay,” a man who has never been with a woman, or Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists, transphobic radical feminists, are pervasive and damaging viewpoints amongst the LGBTQ+ community.
Question 4: Any advice for dealing with self-doubt regarding identity?
Figuring out who you are, especially in regards to your gender identity and/or sexual orientation, is a confusing process! Some people have always known how they identify and some people take more time to find clarity. No matter where you are in your external presentation, it’s always okay to take time and reflect on who you are, and self-doubt is something that everyone deals with. External and internal pressures can take a toll on how you perceive yourself, and new information can certainly influence your understanding of self. No matter what you conclude about your identity, know that you’re valid and deserve respect.