Unique for their non-unique birthdays, faces, and last names, twins have fascinated the world since they began to exist in Lindsay Lohan’s 1998 Parent Trap. Though identical and fraternal twins have suffered much debate over their abilities to perform twin telepathy—a phenomenon where “one twin can asses the thoughts or feelings of another twin without the other twin giving them any signs”—name twins have long been ignored regarding the same question. WHY? This month, we sought out to test our name twin telepathy theory by grilling five pairs of twins with 22 impossible prompts.
We started by bringing our name twins to a neutral and safe space where they would be comfortable to answer honestly. They sat side-by-side, staring deep into each other’s eyes. We asked them a series of rapid-fire questions, giving them three seconds to think before answering. Next, we recorded their answers and their ranging levels of similarity. With these extremely scientific and well-researched methods, we were able to curate an intelligent list of data suggesting that name twin telepathy is, in fact, a real phenomenon.
Our first name twins consisted of Stella D. ’24 and Stella P. ’24, two sophomores who both joined Lakeside in the sixth grade. Cheerily referring to themselves as “Stelepathy,” the Stellas recall their middle school beef over sharing a name. “It felt like we were always competing to see who the better Stella was,” Stella remembered. Today, however, the similarity has made them stronger than ever. “I realized that her version of Stella is entirely different from my version of Stella,” Stella explained. While playing the game, the two started off strong, naming the same fruit, the same famous Chris, and the same color one after another. Perhaps most impressively, the Stellas each chose numbers only digits apart, calling out 7 and 8 for 1-10, 32 and 42 for 1-50, and 77 and 79 for 1-100. Despite one Stella citing Uranus and the other choosing Neptune for the name of a planet, the match ended with the two agreeing on “Heard in Your Halls” for a Tatler section. One of the Stellas had a minor bone to pick: “You guys haven’t done the ones I submitted [for Heard in Your Halls]. Monster poop incoming?” No worries, Stella, we’ll make sure to keep an eye out for that poll response. The Stellas finished off with a magical 10 out of 22. As we skipped away from the highly successful interview, an anonymous source shouted that the two Stellas had planned “red” in response to naming a color. We pretended like we didn’t hear it. Name twin telepathy is real.
Next, two Olivias—Olivia D. ’23 and Olivia K. ’24—offered to test the theory. Eagerly sharing the same seat in the Student Center, the name twins answered their questions back-to-back (literally) as proof that they weren’t cheating. However, we later unearthed a very disappointing scheme on their part. It seems the Olivias Olivi-lied! It was discovered that they had formulated an intelligent plot to answer every question with things beginning in “B.” Unfortunately, their lies did not serve them well, as the Olivias finished the interview with a score of a disheartening 7 out of 22. When asked to name a Tatler section, one Olivia even remarked, “I’d actually have to read Tatler to know this.” As a result, the Olivias were deducted half of their points, leaving them with a pathetic three point score.
Our Williams—William F. ’23 and William F. ’24—scored a whopping and impressive 12 out of 22. The Williams entered our experiment with very little knowledge of each other but with last names that are practically the same. They ended up doing the best out of all our other name twins. This suggests that full name similarity is directly linked to telepathic prowess, as the two are only a letter apart from achieving complete name twin-dom. Early in the interview, both Wills answered “apple” when asked to name a fruit and “blue” when asked to name a color. Their matching answers were random at first but came to a strong ending, with the pair matching answers for all of the last three questions. The Williams have amazed us with their perplexing connection. Wills, we will you the best!
Two of many Jacks inhabiting the Lakeside campus, Jack F. ’22 and Jack Fl. ’22 are seniors who have had conflicting names for all of high school—and having the same two first letters for their last names hasn’t helped. “People sometimes just call us by our last names,” Jack says. While one Jack was confident in their twin telepathic abilities, the other was not. Perhaps the second Jack was right. While matching with Angry Lion for “name a Tatler section” and Khloe for “name a Kardashian,” the two scored a meager 6 out of 22. Regrettably, one Jack responded Pluto for “name a planet.” “I thought you’d try to be quirky and say that too!” the Pluto-loving Jack disclosed to the other. Even if the pair didn’t get the same answers, their responses certainly had a theme. When naming a dinner food, one Jack said garlic bread and the other chose lasagna. “Those go together!” Jack proposed. You’re not wrong, Jack. You’re not wrong.
Last, we invited Justin S. ’22 and Justin Bieber to try their hand at twin telepathy for Tatler. Unfortunately, Bieber did not respond to our Teams message, so we resorted to interviewing Justin W. ‘22. Catching the Justins just in time, we sat the name twins down for a snappy-fast interview in the AAC. Though they both chose steak, math, and integrity for dinner food, school subject, and Lakeside value, the Justins differed when naming a number from 1-100 and choosing a nickname for Justin. When one Justin called out 69 for his number, the other explained their differing choices, affirming that he was just “not like that.” On the bright side, the Justins’ unique thought processes led to a score of 8 out of 22, as well as the discovery of some genius nicknames for those who go by Justin. If you know of any, feel free to call them “Big J” or “Joostin”—both titles are Justin-approved.
Thus, our extensive research undeniably proves the truth behind name twin telepathy. Additionally, it seems that we’ve uncovered a deeper layer to our theory—those who share last names are likely to have even better telepathy. However, though our conclusions may lead you to also believe in identical and fraternal twin telepathy, remind yourself that no research exists to back such theories. Not the research of two sharp and honest Tatler reporters, at least. Keep an eye out for further investigations next year.