Does the Lakeside campus feel empty and barren to you? With half the US student body at home, is Lakeside community’s togetherness lacking? Would it be nice just to have some extra buddies on campus to fill the void? Well, don’t fret, because there is a plan underway that will solve all of your worries! After months of careful consideration and organization, Lakeside has decided to bring in human cardboard cutouts.
Ever since hybrid learning began earlier this year, there has been something missing on Lakeside’s campus. It has felt less unified; the walkways and classrooms have been too spacious, with too few bodies. Having the right amount of people on campus is key to making the Lakeside community feel full again. These cutouts will do just that!
You may be wondering, how exactly have these cutouts been created? Who has been selected to be represented as cutouts? Well after much discussion and debate, Lakeside decided to create these cutouts through the help of renowned cardboard cutout company, The Education Cut. We were lucky enough to take a trip to the manufacturing headquarters and interview spokesperson Cardi Bardcord, who ran us through the process of making Lakeside’s cutouts: “The procedure begins with the most important part: deciding whose 2D face and body will be displayed across campus,” said Bardcord. Since The Education Cut is so in demand, Lakeside was only able to afford one person to be scanned, cut and laminated, so this was a major decision. The school administration had to ponder: What individual represents Lakeside? What friendly, smiley face would be a pleasure to see around campus? It had to be none other than the Head of School Bernie Noe! Once that decision was made, the production process became much more streamlined, or so we thought. Bardcord said that there were a few teething problems along the way: “The calculations we were given had Mr. Noe’s height in inches instead of feet, so we initially had hundreds of miniature Bernies instead of life size ones.’ However, these didn’t go to waste! They are now attached to your own Tatler copy; you’re welcome. There was another minor issue with some unflattering wrinkling in the lamination process but that was taken care of, as the creation of almost 300 pristine, life-sized cardboard Bernies was eventually successful.
With your new Bernie buddies, school day experiences will look so different. Bernie will be in every classroom, walkway, hallway, and stairwell… but that’s not enough to bring together the Lakeside community. We must warmly welcome the new Bernies and help them feel included and a part of Lakeside. There’s nothing worse than feeling left out! So not only will he be sprawled out around campus, but you will also get your own personal Bernie Buddie, your BB. Try taking him to sports practice! If you’re on the cross country team, you know Bernie loves a good run! Even if you’re on the volleyball or football team I’m sure your BB would love to pass the ball with you. He can also just be there for you as a friend: a sounding board for letting out your emotions or just someone by your side when walking to class or eating lunch.
So get excited, people! Lakeside’s community will be whole again and the emptiness on campus will be no longer, because your new Bernie Buddies are coming soon.