Let’s Talk About Sex

Let's Talk About Sex

Let’s Talk About Sex

By Mia Perfetti


Why was this approved? It seems like a recipe for disaster

You know, that’s a sentiment I’ve heard a lot since the February Tatler poll was sent out, and frankly, I totally get it. If I was anyone else, I would also think I was crazy. I understand that a lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about sex at school or through a school-sponsored organization like Tatler, and I get that a lot of people think that I must be out of my mind to agree to writing this. That said, I also think that if you’re really uncomfortable talking about sex in this format, no one forced you to submit a question to the poll, and no one is forcing you to read this article now. You don’t have to interact with this article at all if you really hate it. I can promise that I have tried my best not to make this a disaster. I personally feel no shame in talking openly about sex, and I have done my research to try and make this article as impersonal and factually accurate as possible. But if you’re one of those people who feels very strongly about this, and you feel the need to laugh at or complain about something that in no way affects you, you’re welcome to just skip the rumor mill and email me any questions, comments, or complaints at miap21@lakesideschool.org


In what grade do most Lakeside students become sexually active/ what percent of Lakeside students are sexually active?

I have no way of answering this question without literally asking every person in the student body their age and whether or not they are sexually active. However, I can call on my good friend national statistics!! I know, I can feel your excitement. The question at the root of this one is “should I be sexually active?” According to a 2015 study, 41% of high school students grades 9 through 12 said they had had sexual intercourse at least once. That number looks pretty similar to a different 2017 study, which found that 42% of females and 44% of males aged 15-19 had had sex at least once. That means, regardless of whether or not you’re having sex, you’re normal! Many people feel pressured to have sex in high school, but actually, we’re having sex later and later now than we were 20 years ago: in 1988, 51% of females and 60% of males aged 15-19 had had sex at least once, according to one study. Now, answering the second part of your question about age. For the most part, the older the student, the more likely they are to be sexually active, which makes sense. In that same 2015 survey, 46% of U.S. seniors reported being sexually active, compared to 16% of freshmen. Basically, whether or not you’re having sex, you’re normal, so don’t stress about it.


Is it hygienic to eat ass?

I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s actively “hygienic,” but it’s also not dangerous if you use protection. Often people assume you don’t need to use protection with oral sex; while it’s true that oral sex is not as risky as vaginal or anal sex when it comes to STDs, you still should use protection if you want to be certain you’re not sharing or contracting an STD. Regular STD testing by a healthcare provider can also reduce the risks of oral sex. In this case, you can use a Glyde dam, dental dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the anus as protection. For other kinds of oral sex, those same tools also work in covering the vulva, and you can always use a condom to cover the penis.


Can you go over the age of consent laws again please? I know we had a class meeting about this, but I have forgotten.

Yes! If you’re 16 or older, this isn’t complicated. You’ve reached the age of consent (woo! woo!) and you can now consent to sex with anyone else who has reached the age of consent, including adults over 18 (with some exceptions for adults in positions of power, like teachers and foster parents). As for sex between people under 16, there aren’t ages for consent, but just ages for “not rape of a child.” Washington State will not prosecute you based on age if you have sex with someone…

  • 16 and over.
  • 14-15 and you are less than 4 years older.
  • 12-13 and you are less than 3 years older.
  • under 12 and you are less than 2 years older.


Bondage is okay.

That’s not a question.


Is it ever okay to have unprotected sex?

In high school, probably not. There are situations in which it may be okay to have unprotected sex, but you must feel extremely confident about the following things:

  • You have a finite number of sexual partners. You need to be certain that you are not adding new people into your life and that your partner(s) are not adding new people into theirs before you can consider having unprotected sex. This requires a lot of trust and is usually only found in long-term relationships. If your partner(s) are having sex with other people and you’re not aware of that (for example), that can put you at a lot of risk.
  • Your partner(s) are not at risk of giving you an STD and vice versa. Not having any symptoms of an STD does not mean you don’t have an STD. If you are considering having unprotected sex, you and your partner(s) need to be formally tested.
  • You are in a situation in which you cannot get pregnant, or you are at risk of pregnancy and want to be pregnant. If you don’t want to get pregnant, you need to use some other form of birth control like the pill or the ring, or need to be certain there is no risk of pregnancy for some other reason (like if you’re in a same-sex relationship). The other scenario would be a situation in which you want to be pregnant. This, like the some of other qualifications I’ve included, is unlikely to happen in high school. 
  • You’ve talked to your partner(s) and your healthcare professionals about having unprotected sex. Make sure you feel safe and informed, and be aware of the risks of unprotected sex going in. 

However, as much as people would rather have unprotected sex than protected sex, it’s always better to play it safe. If you have any doubts about having unprotected sex, or any above criteria don’t apply to you 100% (which I’m guessing they do not)… please. Use protection.


Where do babies come from? Asking for a friend.

Oh dear. The U.S. educational system has failed your friend.


Is there any place at Lakeside that gives out free condoms? And if there isn’t, should there be?

There are free condoms available in the WCC bathrooms, and in the top drawer under the fridge outside Dr. Sjoberg’s office.